


Lead Me Astray

by MissMonsters2



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/F, Romance, fem!reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22622128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMonsters2/pseuds/MissMonsters2
Summary: [From Tumblr]Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!ReaderPrompt Request: Anonymous- 2:  How could you do this to me?- 17: I want you to say anything! Scream! Yell at me! Just something to show you fucking care.
Relationships: Natasha Romanoff/Fem!Reader, Natasha Romanov/Reader, natasha Romanoff/reader, natasha romanoff/you, natasha romanov/you
Comments: 1
Kudos: 61
Collections: Natasha Romanoff Reader Inserts





	Lead Me Astray

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Thank you for sending this in :) This combo HURTS.
> 
> Warnings: …Angst?

You had been the one to pursue Natasha. It was a long 3 months before she even agreed to one date with you. 

It took another 3 months to get her to become your girlfriend. You understood that she was cautious by nature. In your line of work, letting in someone made you vulnerable. 

You weren’t completely defenseless, though. After all, you were Maria Hill’s partner. 

You were good at what you did, no one could deny you that. You kept jumping the ranks, and anyone who worked with you could breathe easy knowing you knew what the fuck you were doing, and you would get them out alive.

You were happy to date the operative spy. She could be funny, occasionally sweet, and made sure you had what you needed.

Yet, dating as long as you have, sometimes it felt like you were dragging her along.

It could be like dragging teeth to ever get to talk about anything remotely personal. 

She would hardly show you any affection outside bedroom sex. You were beginning to think she was dating you out of pity. 

You tried to chalk it off as that’s just how she was. She did love you, she just showed it differently than you. 

But the longer it went on, the more insecure you were getting. Especially when either of you went on long missions. You were always the first to go find her. 

You knew you should probably just talk to her about it, but you felt…clingy, and that’s not how you wanted to be. 

It was at one of Tony’s parties for the launch of his new products that you had reached your limit. 

A young investor had been chatting you up all night, buying you drinks, inviting you to dance, and complimenting you. You had turned to see Natasha’s reaction, but she had none. 

In fact, it looked like it didn’t even bother her that someone was literally trying to sweep you off your feet and away from her.

And that bothered you. 

Did she not care?

Did she not love you?

On the way home back to the tower, you asked her about it.

“No, why would that bother me?” Natasha asked with a raise of her brow. 

You quietly sucked in a breath at the pang in your chest. You didn’t say anything else, but when the taxi arrived at the tower, you just gave her a terse smile. 

“I’m feeling pretty sick, I think I’m going to just head back to my apartment tonight. I’ll talk to you later,” You told her, and when she didn’t stop you, you sighed and asked the cab driver to drive off.

You never did talk to her later. 

It’s been two weeks since you’ve seen her or talked to her. It’s not like she sought you out either, though.

Maybe you guys were over. 

You would see her talking and laughing with Bruce, and you would grimace and walk the other way before she noticed you. 

You really weren’t sure what you were doing, but it hurt to see that maybe Natasha didn’t care about you as much as you had hoped. 

Fury had pulled you into the office the next day.

”Congratulations,” he said, leaning back in his chair with his hands together.

You raised your brow.

”What for?”

He grabbed an envelope from his desk and gave it to you. 

”You’re getting promoted. CIA wants you to be their Deputy Director for Operations.“

You took the envelope cautiously. “Wouldn’t that mean I would have to leave here?”

Fury nodded, “Yes, you would be relocated. It’s a busy job, so it’s unlikely you’ll be able to return.”

You pursed your lips, looking at the envelope. 

“I…I have to think about it,” you said before leaving the room.

When two more weeks passed by, and Natasha neither texted, called, or went to see you, you sighed at the hopelessness of it.

So you accepted the job. 

The news spread fast about your leaving, people congratulating you left and right.

You could only wryly smile.

It was just another day, you were training alone in the gym with the punching bag. You had built up quite a sweat, but you weren’t going to stop until you were so tired you couldn’t even think.

Because if you starting thinking, Natasha would pop up in your head.

As you were throwing your punches aggressively, the gym doors slammed open harshly. You didn’t even have time to turn around as someone gripped your shoulder to spin you around.

You came face to face with Natasha whose brows were pinched together in anger and her mouth in a tight line. 

“Can you tell me why I had to have some freshman agent tell me my girlfriend was getting relocated?” Even though Natasha had looked furious, her voice was eerily calm with an edge to it.

You should her hand off, scoffing.

“Oh, so we’re still dating?” You asked a little bitterly, taking off your boxing gloves.

“What the hell does that mean? Of course, we’re still fucking dating! Or did I miss the memo?” Natasha asked, frowning. 

“Really? I couldn’t tell!” You turned fully to Natasha, throwing your hands in the air.

“I literally can’t tell what you’re ever thinking or feeling! And we’ve been dating for 8 months! Seriously, you didn’t have to pity date me.”

“What are you even talking about?” Natasha asked, pinching the bridge of her nose with her eyes closed.

You sighed frustratedly, crossing your arms as a way to put distance between you and the redhead. “I’m talking about how you don’t love me, or care about me. Maybe as a friend, and that’s a hard maybe.”

Natasha’s face softened a little, but she was still irate at her girlfriend. “Why would you say that?”

You shifted uncomfortably. “I know you’re kind of closed off by nature, but you never tell me anything about you. It’s like pulling teeth with you sometimes. The only intimacy I can get from you is when you’re fucking me. You don’t laugh the same way around me like you do when you’re around Bruce or Clint. Even when someone is literally flirting with me in front of your face, you don’t care.”

Natasha bristles slightly, feeling a little defensive. “What do you want me to say in those situations?”

You roll your eyes at her, “I want you to say anything! Scream! Yell at me! Just something to show you fucking care.”

You sighed, feeling like you overexposed yourself and turned away back to face the punching bag.

Natasha recognized the behavior and gently put her hand on your shoulder back around.

“That’s not who I am, you know that. You knew full well going in that this is very new to me. Everything about me makes it difficult to open up. That kind of Intimacy takes time for me,” Natasha told you softly.

“So what? You just don’t give a shit about me until then?” You asked scoffing. 

“I do care about you, how could you think that?” Natasha asks, lips curling downwards in a frown.

You simply sigh, bringing your hands to your face to rub it tiredly. “Forget it, Natasha. It’s whatever, I’m leaving anyways.”

You turn away to grab your belonging to leave for the day, you don’t think you can keep working out. Natasha grabs your wrist to keep you from leaving. You turn back to her, and you’re surprised to see the hurt expression in her eyes.

“How could you do this to me?” Natasha croaks, and it occurs to you that she feels choked. “You’re leaving me.”

You’re frowning as this is the most emotion you’ve ever seen Natasha express to you. Natasha swallows noticeably before she lets go of your wrist and crosses her arms over herself.

“I do care about you,” Natasha says quietly. “I’m sorry if I don’t express that well. I may not laugh around you the same way with Clint and Bruce, but there are things I have with you that I don’t have with anyone else. When I said I didn’t care about other people flirting with you, it’s because I trust you, not because I wasn’t jealous.”

Your heart is fluttering because it’s all coming together. You’re such a fool for not noticing, not seeing Natasha that way you need to. You’re about to embrace her, but she put her palm up to stop you. 

“I do care about you,” Natasha repeats softly. “And I know I don’t have the greatest way of showing it. I thought you were extremely busy with your work and missions, which is why we haven’t seen each other. Not because you’re fucking leaving me without even saying a word.”

Natasha’s eyes were slightly narrowed with furrowed eyebrows, and you know you’ve really upset her. 

“Natasha, I’m so sorry. I just felt so insecure and–” She cuts you off.

“If I made you feel that way, you should’ve come and talked to me like an adult.”

“I know, I was really stupid, I’ll definitely talk to you the next time,” you apologize to her, hoping she’ll forgive you. 

You go into to hold her again, hoping to just put this past you. God, you were such an idiot sometimes. 

Natasha pulls away and looks away from you from a moment, closing her eyes before looking back at you.

“There is no next time. I can’t be with someone who’s going to run without even speaking to me. I’m sorry that I made you feel insecure enough that 8 months of dating wasn’t enough for you to feel like you could talk to me. I wish you luck in your new job. Congratulations.” Natasha has no expression on her face, and for some reason at this moment, you’re suddenly more able to understand the redhead and that she’s so hurt and betrayed that she’s shut down in front of you. 

You want to say something else, but Natasha turns around and briskly walks off, leaving you alone in the gym. 

Your eyes immediately start to water because you’ve fucked up the greatest thing in your life because of your own insecurities. 

You choke back a sob.

You’re telling yourself you can’t cry, you don’t deserve to cry. You need to go pack.

There’s nothing left here for you.


End file.
